Friday, June 26, 2020

Relationship Advice - Tinder date, sex and ghosting

Hi, I have met a girl from Tinder and at the night of the second date, we have hooked up. After we have had sex, she told me that she has just been out from a 1.5 years relationship. She said her ex boyfriend was very abusive. She has dumped him but she still could not get over him. 
Looks like she is looking for rebound relationships. It is not advisable to get very serious early with a girl like this since she has a chance to go back to her ex. You can hook up or casual relationship with her but you should not jump into a serious relationship.
I told her if a men does not respect him, he does not deserve her. She deserves better.
Nope, that is the wrong thing to say. You are basically talking bad about her ex boyfriend and basically saying, "he does not respect you but I, a nice guy, will respect you. So choose me." Slow down Romeo. This shit only works in movies. In real life, talking bad about her ex as a jerk and trying to sell yourself as a nice guy gets you to friend-zone.

Besides she has been with this jerk for 1.5 years and still thinking about him. She probably does not deserve better!

Don't forget this: Nice guys finish last.
Next day I messaged her to setup another date. But she messaged back saying: "I have given a thought and I think I am not ready for a relationship now. If she can make up her mind in a few months, she will call me back.
You probably gave a lot of relationship ready, nice guy vibe to her in these few dates. A man who is relationship ready / "nice" immediately is considered as weak man not a good catch. Why would he be jumping in relationship or behave too nice if he is a man with options.

And in Womenese, "I am not ready for a relationship" means "I am not ready for a relationship WITH YOU". She would probably keep you as Plan B, go and hook up with more men and if she does not find a new dude or go back to ex, she would call you.
I replied: "I would like to see you but I won't sit here and wait for you to call me back. Best of luck and if you change your mind, call me back."
Great answer. You clearly defined what you want, rejected to wait for her and walked away. Or at least you said you will walk away.
A week later, I could not resist the urge and I called her.
WRONG! Very wrong. You said something but your words and behavior are not congruent. This will show you more weak. She walked away from you because you showed weak behavior and you still continue to show weakness. You should not contact her until she contacted you. That is what you do when someone walks away from you.
We met and had great time. But she still told me she is not ready for a relationship. 
Have you ever thought why is she saying "I don't want a relationship." It has been only 3 dates and 1 night of sex. She is talking about a relationship. This is most probably because you either asked or gave vibes for a relationship. Too early man. A relationship request and vibe MUST always come from woman first.

You are probably scared that she will go to ex or find another man and want to cage her into a relationship. As if like she cannot escape from that cage whenever she wants. This is weak man behavior and very few women like weak guys.
I told her in the past it was difficult for me to walk away from a relationship but now I am strong and can do that easily.
Dude, you are bragging but not showing it in your actions. First of all, you just met this girl 3 times and she walked away from you. THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP HERE. Why do you even talk about relationships?

Second, you could not  even walk away from a girl who blew you off. You talk the talk not walk the walk. You should NEXT her (should not call or message her until she reaches out) not meet her and talk about your "ability" to NEXT her.
We hugged, held hands but she did not let me to kiss her.
Well you should not meet her and let her to come to you.
In the following week, we have texted each other. She always replied my messages but never sent me a message first.
Nope that is week. You tried to be her gay male text friend. Plus she is obviously not interested in you. A girl interested in a man initiates most of the contacts. You are pursuing a girl who rejected you TWICE (I dont want a relationship talk and not letting you ti kiss her).  That is extra weak. You are behaving like a weak and optionless loser. This may be because you are one.
I stopped messaging her a week ago. She has never sent a message. Should I message her?
NO! Do not pursue a woman if she rejects you. NEXT her. Don't call or message her. Remember, you are her Plan-B (after your weaker behavior probably Plan-D) so don't make her a priority.
Or should I wait for her to call me?
YES!  And if she calls, a big IF, call her to your place and hook up with her. Don't spend money on her. She blew you off so she does not deserve it. If she wants to meet outside tell her you are not in a mood to go out and if she changes her mind she can give you a call.

Do not start to be her gay male text girlfriend again. She comes to your place or you are busy to message her. If you politely cut a few messages short, she will either stop messaging you or come to your place.

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