Tuesday, November 15, 2011

What Chinese women want?

What Chinese women want? Love? Romance? Yes, these may be accepted as bonus. But the must have's are, if we will take the endless stream of money minded Chinese women in the Chinese media as benchmark, a man with a house, with a car and with enough money left for Gucci, LV, etc. Remember the famous decleration by one of this money minded Chinese women: "I prefer to cry in a BMW rather than smiling on a bike. Well, let's hope she gets what she wishes for.

Do not get me wrong. I do not believe all women in China are like this. And you can find many women, whether in China or somewhere else, with this mind-set. What amuses me is the fact that China has a society know in which these women can shamelessly make these open declarations. Take a look at this for example:

"I have had 20 to 30 mothers come up to me with their son's telephone number," said Ms Liu Xiuling, a 23 years old marketing consultant. "I suppose I would rather meet someone through a friend or at a party but who knows? I am looking for a man with a house and a car. I do believe in love but I also believe you have to balance your feelings with some sense of what is practical".[1] This is from a "Marriage and Love(!) Expo" in Shanghai.

I again repeat that I have no intention or right to judge a money honey who wants material riches from her husband. We all have one life and we should be free to choose how we will live it. And no one is forcing a man to marry or date one of these girls. Indeed, these type of people are quite conservative and extremely boring and a man should avoid one of them at all cost. But the situation of many Chinese men, especially the ones in the bigger cities is very sad. A woman, whether a date or a wife, from dating to marriage is a huge financial strain for a Chinese man. It is very shameful that this money minded honey behavior is quite acceptable in Chinese society:

"When my husband, who is Chinese, and I started dating, he was at first a bit bothered by the fact that he would not be able to shower me with gifts, or later, when we got married, to buy me an apartment. These were not important to me and neither I nor any of my immediate peer group had ever chosen men based on the size of their wallets. I soon learned, however, from friends, that many of my Chinese male friends had experienced being dumped by girls for not ponying up gifts from the start. The girls expected to go out to eat every day and have their new boyfriend foot the bill, expected new cell phones, and expected gifts for their parents upon a visit home. One of my Chinese male friends put it to me bluntly that he could not afford a girlfriend right now, girlfriends were simply too expensive!"[2]

But I do judge men, who will go and marry a woman openly putting money first! Well, there may not be enough woman in China to marry but a man does not have to marry anyway!

[1] - Love, Practically
[2] - Money honey: The cost of dating in China

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